Since I started on my coaching journey—both as someone who’s received coaching and a person who coaches others—I’ve marveled at the power of perspective.
Prior to getting started with coaching, I knew what perspective was, but it wasn’t until I immersed myself in some of the tools that I started to understand how valuable it is. The ability to reframe a situation is a critical skill. When you realize your perspective isn’t fixed and is actually open for interpretation, you have more choices than you originally thought. And that’s a pretty liberating and empowering place to make decisions.
Perspective shifts can act as true lightbulb moments that change our trajectories. And, in some cases, they can be so strong and stark that they can feel a bit like a slap across the face (I’ve certainly had a few of those!).
The most interesting part about perspective is that shifting it can be a deliberate choice. We don’t have to wait for anyone to shift it for us—but sometimes, we get stuck thinking about a situation in a particular way and forget that we have the power to reframe it.
With that, I wanted to share with you a few insights on how to exercise your perspective-shift muscles—so you can train yourself to have even more of them.
Gain awareness of your feelings—and the facts
Awareness is the first step in being able to shift your perspective, and it begins with noticing how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking.
We typically notice how our bodies are reacting to a certain situation before our brain even catches up, so take note: Is your jaw tense? Do you have a pit in your stomach? These can be some clues that something isn’t aligned.
It’s also important to remember that sometimes, we tell ourselves stories about what’s actually happening, instead of relying on the “facts of the case.” The story you’re telling—does it connect to any deep-seated beliefs or thoughts you have about yourself? For example, let’s say you’re an executive who wants to level up and take on another job at a larger company, but you’re anxious about throwing your hat in the ring. When you think it through, you might realize your anxiety is attached to a healthy dose of impostor syndrome. You feel like you’re a fraud, and it’s only a matter of time before everyone finds out—so not making a move seems like the best idea.
Then, consider the facts. Not what you think to be true, but what’s actually true. To build on the example above, the truth is that you’ve been a successful executive who has led your company to record growth over the last five years, and now you’re ready for a new challenge. Notice how the facts are the exact opposite of the beliefs?
Throughout all of this, it’s important to not place blame on yourself. The key here is to observe how you’re thinking and feeling, and have curiosity around it—not judgment.
Accept your feelings about the situation
I love this perspective from psychologist Beth Kurland Ph.D.: “You don’t have to put on a happy face and pretend everything is fine if you are feeling hurt and angry inside or upset. It is okay to acknowledge whatever you are feeling and accept the emotions that are present.”
If you’re feeling frustrated or sad about something, go ahead and admit you have those emotions! It doesn’t mean that’s the only way you’re going to think about it forever.
To repeat what I said above, this acceptance is a judgment-free zone. If you are perceiving a situation in a certain way, don’t beat yourself up for it. Feeling shame or guilt won’t help you be more willing to see things in a different way.
Ask yourself some honest questions
Here’s that reframe I’m talking about—and you get to these reframes through consistent inquiry of your thoughts and actions.
One of my favorite questions to start with—whether I’m shifting my own perspective or helping a client shift theirs—is, “How is this perspective serving you?” This question is meant to help me understand the value (or, more often than not, the lack of value) of the current perspective I’m holding.
That question is closely followed by, “What new—or more empowered—perspective can you take on instead?” This question forces you to remember that there is another way (or several ways!) to see the situation, and plenty of ways forward.
It also helps to literally change your perspective. Go to a different room, head out for a walk, drive to a park or visit a place you love. Thinking about the situation when you’re in another environment can help you get out of your current state, too.
Be deliberate about making the shift
Of course, it would be wonderful (and a time-saver!) if your perspective shifted instantly, like a car shifting into a different gear. The truth is, some shifts will be like that—you’ll feel that lightbulb moment I mention at the beginning of this piece, and you’ll instantly feel lighter.
Other shifts happen a bit at a time. In those cases, I’m constantly reminded to give myself some “grace and space.” Some deeply embedded beliefs will take some time to change, and that’s okay. The perspective shift happens when you ask yourself, “Where am I going to start focusing my attention instead?”
One action that’s always helped me is to have a mantra or set of phrases that can help me shift my perspective a little easier. For example, when I start to feel trapped in a particular situation or have anxiety about something, I say to myself, “I always have a choice. I can choose to react or not. I can choose to be in the emotion or not. I am in control.” A short set of phrases, but a grouping that always reminds me that I have more power over the situation than I give myself credit for.
Rinse and repeat
This kind of awareness around perspective doesn’t happen automatically, but it does get easier to flip your thinking over time through consistent practice.
These steps can help you cycle through your thinking faster—giving you time for more of those lightbulb moments. Because when done right, you can actually feel the difference a perspective shift can make.
As an executive coach, I can guide you to use tools you already have to enable even more perspective shifts. Head here to book a Discovery Call with me.
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